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5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Come To Moody Bible Institute

Today is one of those days where prospective students come to Moody’s campus to have a tour, experience a class, and ask their questions about what MBI is like.  We welcome them, tell them that they’ll love Moody, and share with them why they should apply.  But why don’t we tell them why they shouldn’t come?  Well, I’ve put together 5 reasons* why prospective students should drop MBI from their college radar.

1) You have to show integrity.

This is one of the worst things about Moody – they trust your honesty and integrity too much.  They expect that you’re going to be honest when fobbing in your chapel attendance.  They expect you’re actually going to do the reading for class (and they won’t even test you on it).  A real college would at least make you prove that you’ve done the work instead of just “trusting” you and hoping you have “integrity”.  It’s like they expect Christians going into ministry leadership to have integrity in their life.

2) You have to live with other Christians.

Living in a dorm is bad enough – living with other Christians is awful.  You have people around you that are always doing Christian things like praying and reading their Bible and discussing theology.  They call each other “brothers” and “sisters” and want to build “community” (whatever that means).  Someone may even ask you to pray for a situation in their life (we know you say you will, but you’ll forget the request 20 seconds later).  These are people who waste precious time praying for their food, talking to each other about their life, and studying Scripture together.  How dull can it get?!  Of course, when living with a group like this, you have to do the next thing:

3) You have to act like a Christian.

Guess what, coming to Moody means that you have to actually act like a Christian.  Say goodbye to all those fun things you used to love to do and get ready to assume the monk-like attitude of a Christian.  If you slip up, someone might actually call you out on it and begin praying for you.  They may even start holding you accountable for how you live your life.  You’re going to have to start doing the Christian things all the other students are doing.  Of course, you could always just say that you’re having your “quiet time” with God – you wouldn’t really need to do it.

4) You have to be involved in ministry.

Why would a Bible college that trains future ministry leaders expect its students to engage in ministry?  It just seems like an extra thing to add to your already busy schedule.  I mean, college is supposed to be all about the academic – the theoretical.  The practical is what you do after you get that degree.  Why should we have to do anything practical while we’re in college?  We’ll be prepared enough to jump feet first into ministry once we’re done – we don’t need to do anything like that beforehand.

5) You may actually be challenged.

If you come to Moody, you will actually have to do stuff for your classes.  You will be expected to turn in your work on time, you will be graded harder than any regular university would, and you actually have to go to class.  Why would you want to do any of that stuff when you could just sleep your way through college?  Why would you want to learn from professors when you could be playing Candy Crush on your phone?  It just seems like too much to challenge students to think critically and biblically and expect them to do school work during college.

I hope these 5 things help you in making your decision about Moody.  Seriously, these are the things they expect of their students.  There are plenty of other places to get a degree where it would be much easier and more fun.  If you do wind up coming to Moody, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

* The following is a satire blog about Moody Bible Institute.  It is hoped that all students coming to Moody would embrace the challenge and expectations of Moody as part of their preparation for Christian leadership.  The views and opinions in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of Moody Bible Institute.
About the author
Blake Fewell
Blake Fewell is a Salvation Army Lieutenant serving as the Corps Officer in Marion, IN. He grew up in Rockford, IL attending The Salvation Army all his life. Blake is passionate about Salvation Army theology and ministry. Other passions include running, brass band music, social media, reading, writing, and preaching. He holds a Bachelor's degree in systematic theology from the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, IL and is working towards his Master's degree at Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, IL.


  • Luke E. Somma

    LOL this really messed me up! I read the first through third major points, got super confused, read your bio, and became agitated and disoriented. Then I read, “satire” next to the title! Good one!